My Pumpkin Prayer (Joseph's 1st Pumpkin Carving)

My Pumpkin Prayer




Dear Jesus, as I carve my pumpkin, help me pray this prayer:

Open my mind so I can learn about You.
(Cut the top off the pumpkin)





Take all my sin and forgive the wrong that I do
(Cleanout the inside)



Open my eyes so Your love I will see;
(Cut the eyes shaped like hearts.)
I’m sorry for times I’ve turned up my nose at what You’ve given me.
(Cut a nose in the shape of the cross)

Open my ears so Your Word I will hear;
(Cut ears shaped like the Bible.)

Open my mouth to tell others You’re near.
(Cut the mouth in the shape of a fish.)

Let Your light shine in all I say and do! Amen
(Place a candle inside and light it.)

My BirthVerse

www.birthverse.com

This is my birthverse:

1 John 2:17 NIV- The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

Lyrics to a Song

Here's some lyrics from a song I hear on the radio alot. This song describes exactly how I feel.

Lyrics to I Still Miss You :
By: Keith Anderson

I've changed the presets in my truck
so those old songs don't sneak up
they still find me and remind mey
eah you come back that easy
try restaurants I've never been to
order new things off the menu
that I never tried cause you didn't like
two drinks in you were by my side

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you

I've done everything move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you
I still miss you baby

I never knew til you were gone
how many pages you were on
it never ends I keep turning
and line after line and you are there again
I dont know how to let you go
you are so deep down in my soul
I feel helpless so hopeless
its a door that never closes
no I don't know how to do this

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak
and I still miss you

I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you
I still miss you yeah

I've talked to friends
I've talked to myself
I've talked to God
I prayed liked hell but I still miss you
I tried sober I tried drinking
I've been strong and I've been weak

and I still miss you
I've done everything
move on like I'm supposed to
I'd give anything for one more minute with you

I still miss you yeah
I still miss you
I still miss you...... yeah.... yeah.....

Some Recent Poems

Forever In My Heart

February 8, 2009

Forever in my heart to keep
Awhile I will have to weep

For you my love, you’ve gone away
But to you, my heart will still obey

My heart will always be yours
While everlasting love pours

I will love you more forever
I will think about you always
I cannot let you go
How I still love you so



We are like Cranes, You and I

A love grown to be so divine
Such a love to share with thine

Forever bound are our souls like two cranes
Eternally together our love remains

When a crane’s mate dies
It never seeks to find another for compromise

It’s like you and I
My love for you will never die

4-28-08 Revised
5-24-07 Created

Me and Joseph Uriah

I was looking at pictures of me when I was a baby and then compared them to pictures of Joseph. I am so excited and astonished at how genes play their role.

A Discovery of a Lost Poem

Tonight I had some organizing to do in my room. It was long needed. I have a trunk in my closet that has lots of papers, journals, some of my other writings in it. I came across some things that I haven't read in a long while. Some things that I read kind of gave me a different perpective about life. Things that I haven't thought about in a while. There were even since things that I wrote a few years ago that just made me laugh. Can you just write the funniest things even though they weren't so funny at the time? I also found some lost poems of mine. I call them the lost poems because whenever my computer crashed a back in summer of 2007, I lost some of my earliest poems. I thank God that some were printed on paper or at least drafted on scratch paper. I found one that I was so grateful to still have. I wrote it circa 2005. It's doesn't have a rhythm pattern. It's free verse, i guess you could say. It's called "The Gift of Living"

The Gift of Living

Life a magnificent picture drawn,
to the simpliest touch of authenticity,
This is the touch of God's glory

In the beginning when this world was created
The devil, a serpent soon deviated.
With sin, he corrupted human nature
to degrade God's precious purity

With an apple eateb by Eve from the golden tree
sin was born to thee, to corrupt the world with impurity.

Nevertheless, our Savior Jesus Christ came
He gave His life so that we can be forgiven

Life is sacred because of Him
God has given us a gift to make life great

With sin in us all, we now have to be strong
Life is a gift from God, don't give it away to do wrong

A Message from God

Today while I was at work, a lady named Deborah came by to pick up her book. She told me that she was in a terrible accident back in December. She was driving one night when a deer came out of nowhere and she slid off the road. Her truck tumbled upside down to the opposite side of the road she was driving on. Her seatbelt was wrapped around her neck strangling her. Then she heard God tell her to use her thumb to press her horn. She pressed the horn. Down the road a lady heard the horn beeping loudly and she went outside to see what was going on. The lady called for help. When help arrived they had to use the jaws of life to get her out. She showed me the picture of her totally totalled truck. The truck looked like something no one could survive from being in. She came out with a hurt shoulder. She was lucky to be alive. She trusted in God wholeheartedly and He protected her. I told her the miracles and blessings that God did in my life. I told her that God blessed me with a son. She told me that Joseph sees little Joseph. She said, "He sees him, no doubt." She made my day. She told me that God will continue to bless me. It was like God used her to send me a message. That God doesn't abandon us, he always provides and continues to bless. These past few days, I grown closer to God more than ever. I desire Him more and more. It feels good when you have Him in your mind most often. This lady made my day. I gave her hug and she told me she would keep me her in prayers. Thank you God for this heartfelt moment and sending sisters and brothers in Christ to keep me encouraged and open my heart to Your love at all times.

I checked out a book at the library called "Christ in Poetry". It has beautiful poems in it about our Savior. I read some poems to Joseph Uriah. Afterwards the book was laying on the bed and he wanted to hold it and look at the book. I thought it was a candid moment. It reminded me of his Daddy and I. How we both love Christ and poetry.

Returning to Blog

It's been awhile since I had written in this blog. So much has happened since and I haven't had much time to write here. The last time I posted something was on Nov. 9, 2008. It's now a new year and a new beginning. I feel pretty optimistic about things. I am looking for a better job in which I can use my associate's degree. Last semester was my final semester at Piedmont Tech. I am so glad and I feel that I can finally breathe a little bit. It's not the end of the road for my education. I would like to pursue a bachelor real soon. I am looking for a school right now that fits my schedule and budget. I would like to go into Psychology and pursue something in the law or criminal justice field.

Anyways, since the last time I posted, I talked about my grieving process. All I can say it that's it run it's course pretty healthy I guess you could say. I still miss him very much, but I can smile now when I think of him. Everytime his name is mentioned I blush and smile like I did when he was alive. The same glow is in my face back then when he was alive when I think of him. I love him so.

Little Joe has been growing tremendously. His cognitive development amazes me. He can talk. PERIOD. I swear to you some words isn't just babbling. They are words. He can say Pa-Pa. He knows that's his name. When my Dad comes in from work, Joseph grins real big and says "Pa-Pa." He can also say Ma-ma, nana, An-tee (Andy). I also caught him saying ba-ba after he had his bottle. He reached for it and said it. My jaw dropped. He can say Hey dare(there) and bye-bye. He always seeks to amaze me, just like his Dad did.

On Jan 19th, which was Monday marked two years that I met Joseph. I remember the moment almost like it was yesterday. We met at Roma's, Downtown Laurens. I remember opening the door into the restaurant and there he was waiting patiently for me to arrive. I remember the look on his face. Though I never met him in person before, I knew what the look on his face said. I am falling in love with you. He told me that it was love at first sight for him after that day. It was for me too. We spent like four hours there talking about almost everything. I also shared my sketches with him and he shared his gourd he carved. It's was a very significant day in my life two years ago on that day. I had met the man that I would love truly for life and the man whom I would share a child with. His memory lives on in my heart.

When I first met Joseph, we use to exchange poetry over the phone. Poems that we wrote and some poems that read from other authors that were our favorites. I went to the library last week and I just had this eagerness to check out a book of poems. I found a book called "Christ in Poetry". I thought, "Joseph would love to read poems out of this book." I found a poem in there that I think would of caught Joseph's eye. I know it would of been one of his favorite as it is mine since I read it.

The Splended Lover

One and one only is the splended Lover,

The all-forgiving, all-compassionate;

When others fret you with impatient loving,

He a greater Lover patiently will wait.

Though you turn from him threescore times and seven,

Mock his devotion spurn him as a guest,

With steadfast wooing, he at last will win you,

And reveal life's wonder when your head lies on his breast.

-John Richard Moreland

Somehow this poems reminds me of how much Christ loves us. His love that He has for us is more than we can comprehend. He is trying to win our hearts everyday and we need to draw more closer to Him. Jesus is the biggest Lover of all. I know I haven't been looking forward to Valentine's Day. It just hasn't been the same since I met Joseph, but when I think about Valentine's Day, why don't we celebrate the love that we have for Christ and the love that He has for us? I don't have a sweetheart to give candy, or flowers, or a valentine's day card to, but I do have a heart to give to Christ for eternity.